I Feel Like We're Married!

Now this isn't a bashing session but I feel as though my boyfriend and I are married. Like we argue every chance we get. I know we are well passed the cupcake phase, but we also love like one. We are commited and we just don't have eyes for anyone else. Like the other night we were talking baby names (yeahh that commited) and just love the same things and we talk a lot about the future. We have our ups and downs but I won't want to fuss with or be with anyone else. Surprisingly, we are very responsible for our ages (18 and 19 year olds) we both work and looking for a second job. Hopefully, one day that boy puts a rock on my left hand because I love him and I wouldn't want to be with anyone besides him. If he took my hand in marriage I'd be one of the luckiest girl in the world maybe even the luckiest. I know girls my age really don't wish for things like that but, I know he is my soulmate and we were meant for each other. He is amazing and want him to be mine always and forever.

Scary Movies

I was recently asked the question: "Do you like scary movies" my initial reaction was scary movies really aren't scary. But seriously think about, the only true scary movies of our generation were probably: Saw (trilogy), Final Destination (trilogy), Misery, Friday the 13th (trilogy), Nightmare on Elm Street (trilogy) maybe Resident Evil, Halloween and probably The Roommate (PROBABLY! I truly didn't think it was scary it was more comical than anything). 
Like I said, most scary movies of our generation are funny and just plain dumb. Take Scream 4, that movie was stupid. Like seriously don't you just hate when that stupid blond is running and "all of a sudden" she trips and acts helpless not even moving to save her life, she lets the killer slash her. Another thing, when someone in the movie is home alone and hear a weird sound they always gotta "check it out" or ask "who's there" or "Hello?" You dumb bitch, you better run outside and call the cops on your cell phone. Shit, if that were me I'd ask no questions get a baseball bat or a gun, shoot the fucker in the knee or clock him unconscious, run out the house and call the police. But, hey, who am I; a sensible girl that knows how to handle her. One more thing, the killer is in clear view and they have amble time to get away, come up with a plan or get help and possibly kill the killer. But noooooo, the stupid whore screams and cries or does something stupid! Scary movies either totally annoy me, baffle me, make me chuckle or just make me question the people that make these movies.   

Don't Hate the Player Hate the Game: The World of Dating (Part 3)

We all know we aim to please when we first meet new people. The first impression means everything so, we occasionally send the "representative". Yes, the perfect person we make up in our heads and the person we think will win our love interest.
There is no clear-cut way to see through the "representative" ploy but you'll know when you see it. When I was younger (gosh I make it seem like I'm ancient) I was the master of the "representative" act.
I usually used alias and phony back-stories to impress girls I found interest in. Like this one girl I had a huge crush on a while back. Like seriously she was Hawaiian, long flowing hair, not too tall but then again not too short, some killer green (or were they hazel) eyes and a nice rack. Needless to say she was a hottie, she was also out of my league. I don't care how sweet I thought my game was I don't think I would have got her without some type of angle.
So, this bombshell was a friend (or co-worker) of my war vet best friend. So, I took it upon myself to introduce myself the one day she shows up at my best friend's condo. That day I told so many lies I started believing them myself. I told this girl my name was Cydni Fairwood and I was assistant director of some director that recently graduated from NYU and had a studio in Arlington.
Naturally, this girl brought my boogie story and became so engrossed in my line of work. So much so, in the next two weeks we were together she did some research. Yup, this player got caught in a lie and she from there on didn't want anything to do with me. I didn't blame her; if I were me I won't either. Pegging her for a fool and playing up her emotions. I'd be heat, the moral to the story is the "representative" causes confusion and trouble so, just be yourself and let the chips fall were they may.

Female Super-Heroes: Are They Sex Symbols?

Lately I've gotten very engrossed in heroes, mostly because I wrote a term paper on Greek and American Comic heroes. 
I am beginning to see that most (and I do say most) female super-heroes are seen as sex symbols. If you just Google the phrase "super girl" you would get some provocative images. It's like women can't be equal to men they are just objects. Just look at the way most artist draw these characters. Enlarged breasts, extremely short skirts or skin tight bodysuits and occasionally cut off tees. But think about it; the people that make these comic are men and the primary audience are men. So, it's a given that these people want to appeal more to the male population of ages twelve through twenty-one. But what does that say about women? Are we just trophies or objects of desire? Are we simply here to please men and merely sex slaves? It's a double standard and it's as if women are the second sex even in the comic book world.
On the contrary, these writers do a great job at making these female super-heroes role models to the younger generation. I know when I was younger I wanted to be just like Super-Girl or Wonder Woman. They are instilled with good values, smart, handy and of course strong. Their presentation could be less revealing but, the lessons and morals are received. I'm just saying can they be both role models and sex symbols? Or is it just some wacky thought I just throwing out there?

My best friend Sonic

Ever since I was able to hold a game controller, Sonic, the hedgehog was "my best friend". Like it sounds crazy but, he has always been there for me. From the humble age of five to now, Sonic game never let me down. On those rainy days, pure boredom and even to get my mind off certain situations. I literally grew up loving Sonic and looked forward to the next game. I have no clue why these Sonic games are so addictive but they are! It's just something about those golden rings and that weird sound you get when you jump. Why is it that I can spent hours staring at a TV screen doing the same task over and over? Who knows but all I know is I'm a fan for life and the Sonic trilogy is for serious gamers.

For You

When I wrote this I wasn't thinking about whom was reading this
When I wrote this I wasn't thinking about how people would see me
When I wrote this I thought of your eyes
The way you run your fingers through your hair
How you look at me
The way you hold me close
I was thinking about your arms
Your touch
The way our noses rub together when we kiss
I was thinking about you and all your bloody glory
Just you

My Lesbian Crush on Fiona Apple

I love Fiona Apple and her music so much I categorize it as a lesbian love affair. Her lyrics are like my thoughts in song and rhythmic form. "Paper bag" is one of my all time favorites: "I've got to fold because these hands are too shaky to hold" or "I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up" come one that has Fiona Apple written all over it!
But the song I truly fell in love with was "Criminal". Good grief, that girl can blow! She has serious pipes and the lyrics again: "And I need to be redeemed to the one I've sinned against" and "Help me but don't tell me to deny it." In my opinion she created her own genre.
She is also a bad ass like she released an album in '95, the title of the album was like 23 letters long. Seriously she is an icon and she is so twisted; crazy. "Fast As You Can" the craziest song I've heard from her. "Sleep to Dream" is a classical "You say love is a hell you can not bear/ And say gimme mine back and go there/ For all I care." I love it, she is such a creep and she is so broken. We can all relate to her in some way because she is such a crazy and says thing that most people wouldn't. She was the bad ass of the 90's I hope she is still making music because she is amazing. 

A Love Letter To You

I wrote you this to show how much
Then I realized words couldn't describe
Words couldn't describe the love I have 
For you
No sonnet, song, or poem can
Explain how and why I love you
To be honest I don't know why I 
Tried to compose my love into a poem
Maybe I was thinking of you and just wanted to
Make you smile
See those blue eyes gleam
Your face light up

To be honest, my love has no human capacity
I don't even think God could fathom
I am pretty sure you'll never know 
How much I really love you
This is my love letter to you
I hope you smile when you read it
I hope you think of me
I really hope this makes your day
I also wish you love me 
Like I love you  

To the keeper of my heart
-Dustin

Settling: Why Girls Settle and Why it's a Problem

Settling: the act of determining or deciding on something (Dictionary.com). Girls settle when it comes to men because they feel like they can't do any better than what they have attained. Some girls settle for the wrong guy just because they think there is no one better. I think this comes from ridiculous friends that keep telling us "lower your standards". Yeah, get real we all know that is not good advice. The moment you lower your standards, you attract the wrong guys and you wind up falling or dating someone that isn't right for you.
I made up an ideal guy in my head (like most young women my age) and that is how I guided myself when I was looking.
My list:

• Articulate 
• Tall (clique but yes)
• Funny
• Smart and brainy
• Spiritual (has similar views as me)  
• Spontaneous
• Adventurous
• Someone with nice hair (Yes! I need something to run my fingers through!)
• Sensitive (not sensitive to the point he is basically a bluff version of me)
• Built (I like bluff, very fit guys)
• I prefer Caucasian  men (come on I'm not that shallow, but that is just a plus not a requirement)
• Honest
• Loving
• Charismatic
• Easy on the eyes
• Patient (because I am a handful)
• Loyal
• Open Minded
• Someone that is a great kisser with full lips
• Romantic
• Responsible 
• Flexible (not in the literally sense)

As you can see my list is somewhat extensive but, I know someone like this exist. As a matter of fact, my boyfriend fits this description for the most part. Most women have list like my own of their ideal man and there is nothing wrong with having standards and an idea of what you want and need. Most people want someone who is different and somehow similar to themselves. Women that have standards show that they respect themselves enough to set requirements for their mate. So don't let anyone tell you to lower your standards or settle for something less than you deserve. Your dream guy is out there all you have to do is be patient and believe. It sounds cheesy but when he comes you'll know.

Double standards

As much as we don't want to believe it life is full if double standards. It's like it's ok for one group of people but for another it's outlandish. These lines are finer with men and women. Between the two sexes there are so many double standards that are made. Not only that but between certain races and nationalities.
Most of the time guys gloat about how many girls they get on a daily basis. Their male counterparts praise and condone such childish behavior. However, when a woman makes such claims she is labeled a whore. This is the same principle of oral sex, a man proudly claims he does it with most of his sexual companions his friends pat him on the back. Now a female proclaims the same thing, she is a repulsive, filthy excuse for a woman. Even cat-calls, men do it all the time and no one pays any attention to it. But, as soon as a female uses one of those sleazy lines she's grotesque in the eyes of all men. Psychology, if a women loves have intercourse on a regular basis there is something mentally wrong with her.
Sometimes these standards are applicable in the workplace and school.
When we see males that are very successful we assume that he worked very hard for his position. On the contrary, a woman holds a very prestigious position she must of slept with someone to get there. It's funny because society does the same with black males driving somewhat exotic cars. People assume it has to be stolen, that were racial profiling comes in.Why is our society so cynical about things like this? Why do we make one set of rules for one group and another for the other. It's awful and one thing about society we just can't fix. It's one more thing that makes society so evil.

What Makes Me Tick: Things I love

This is a random post but I feel my readers should know a little about me. I am an aspiring photographer, I love taking abnormal pictures. It's so weird because since I was five years old I loved photography. I feel a picture can tell a million stories. I love flowers, just like every girl I love the sweet aroma of fresh cut flowers. I am not big on roses but I love hibiscus, lilies, tulips and gladiolus flowers. One weird thing about me that usually surprises people is that I like white guys. Some guys I talk to think it's so weird but I don't know I just find them attractive. My kryptonite is blondes and green eyes, together I think I'll have a fit. Ironically, my boyfriend is a white (and let me tell you he is gorgeous). Even though I claim to be such a bad ass, I love hugs! I'm a hugger I'm very affectionate. 
Something that makes me tick, I tweet--A LOT! Very seldom do I go a full day without tweeting, maybe if I'm busy I'll probably stay off Twitter. Usually, I'm on Twitter 24/7; I also text--A LOT! Now, I never go a day without texting at least my best friend or my boyfriend. It's like I'm joined to the hip with my phone, I love my iPhone. I'm either tweeting, texting or writing a draft on here. 
I am very family-orientated, I love my folks and my extended family. I think I am the only person in my group that has both parent together and married. It's amazing because me and my mother's side of the family are super close. 
I seriously love old movies and music, very old fashioned. Maybe because I hang out with older people and I'm used to listening to that kinda thing. There are so many things that make me tick, you just have to continue reading my blogs! 

Workplace conspiracies

 Everyone with a job knows how its feels to be passed up on a promotion you know you deserve. In addition, everyone around you gets the promotion you worked hard for and you wonder "what the hell". Even though the people that get raises and promotion really and truly didn't earn it. We all hate it and it makes us wonder "when will I get mine".
I've been employed at my place of employment for three years (long time, right). I've been getting passed up on getting a promotion for a while not but recently, the company I work for changed their policies.   I don't know how they are doing it but it's weird and confusing. People I know for a fact don't work as hard as I do or even have seniority for that matter (the company mostly promotes people that have been there a little while). It's annoying because last year and most of this year I work my ass off trying to make management. To be honest most of the people in management slack off a majority of the time and really don't put in work. This is irritating because now, everyone is getting recognized for their mediocre work and I barely get a good job.
I know most people, really great workers have this problem but what does that say about management? Is management so blind they can't recognize leaders? I'm totally not dissing management but I'm asking what's going on? I know it's a fact of life that most people don't get what's rightfully theirs but when do you draw the line?

Don't Hate the Player Hate the Game: The World of Dating (Part 2)

I believe this topic can become a multiple part series on dating and the opposite sex. However, in my previous post I was explain how strategic men and how they use certain words to disguise their true intentions.  But what about the ladies? Women are just as cunning as men, if more.
Chicks are funny because we use our womanly intuition to guide us. Some women are very manipulative and most women are born with this feat, the way we use it is up to us (or if we decide to). I know I am a manipulative person, I know this. But, to be honest it takes way too much effort to "mind fuck" people. It's like you have to maintain a certain persona just to make someone act the way you want them to. It's way too much and frankly I'm a lazy person by nature.
Unlikely me, women weld the power of mind control accordingly. My ex boyfriend of 6months, his ex was a prime example. She calls me at four in the morning (I'm surprised I answered the phone, the conniving bitch). Shes just rambling on about how my boyfriend was hers and she goes through our text messages to each other. She claims he was with other girl besides me. To this day, I don't know if he (my ex) was covering his ass or she (his ex) was just being vindictive. I knew she was trying to start something because he hated her and he didn't like her anymore. She just wanted what I had or reclaim want she thought was hers.

One more thing, most girls are territorial. Yes, they really are, for example the don't date your friend's ex rule. Some girls hate that or don't even condone it. Not only is it weird, but I believe it has something to do with a girl's territory. I haven't been in the situation of my friend dating my ex but I seen people go through it. My friend, a very smart and lay back person and her best friend got themselves in that situation. My friend had this ex that I feel like her best friend lusted after since she introduced him to the group. I have a sneaky suspicion that she was the person that broke them up. Anyway, they (my friend and the ex) were together for probably two months or three (hell, I don't remember) and guess who was going in for the kill not even 2weeks after. We (my friend, her best friend and I) were out one day and this chick randomly says "Hey you don't care if I go out with Dan [the ex] do you?"
Oh gosh, you should have seen my friend's face! She was fuming, she walked out of the restaurant (think it was an IHOP) and screamed. My friend wanted to rip her friend's hair out and feed it to her (that bad). After that vendetta, needless to say my friend cut her best friend out of the picture. You know what was seriously crazy, they (the best friend and the ex) got engaged. From what my friend told me he was very rude, mean, unfaithful, deceitful, and inconsiderate (so they were meant for each other). Surprisingly, the bitch had the nerve to invite my friend and I to her wedding. We decided we'd go just to get a good laugh and make crude jokes.  

Don't Hate the Player Hate the Game: The World of Dating

Everyone that ever lusted after someone, pursue someone or just don't know how to treat girl/guy this is for! Now I know I'm not a specialist in the field but, I know somethings. I know guys use weird "codes" when they: want you, love you, want you to fuck off, need their space or just flat out not interested. To be honest at one point in my life I was womanizer, man-eater whatever you want to brand it.
About three years ago maybe longer, I was a player (yes, I was and I was the best) I'd lure guys in then if they weren't to my likings I'd find another and use some useless line like "it's not you it's me" or "you might make someone else happy just not me. I wish you the best and I hope you find that girl for you" (bogus, I know but when you are charming and charismatic you can use any bogus line to let someone down easy). But for some reason a year later (or something like that) I became a lesbian. Yeah, I was a female liking "woohoo" licking lesbian (sue me). So, I have a pretty general understanding of what guys do to get girls and vice versa.
In addition, I had few girlfriends and the ones I did have I've known since grade school. So, I hang around a number of guys that in time inducted me as one of the guys. I learned the smooth lines, the sweet talk and sly dime-a-dozen cheap game. For example, when guys say "I wanna get to know you" (red flag!) as my best friend and war vet. says "to be honest, when I say that I just want the cheeks (basically, he wants to fuck). My best friend (I call him) was in the air force for two years and is now a successful accountant. You would think a guy like him would be living a more gallant lifestyle. Anywho, he is infamous for wrapping these poor (not too bright) girls around his finger. He knew how to woo a lady and how to get her caught up in the game of love (or sex in his case). He said all the right things and was a smooth operator.
Naturally, any guy would look up to him and say "I wanna be like him!". But, before his fast pace life as a notorious heartbreaker, he was a lover. He was involved with a girl for about three years. Boy, he loved her like a rich man loved gold. He says the reason he is like this now I because he was chained down for so long he wanted to be free and do things he couldn't with her.
The reason I gave you that long (terribly long) backstory because he was the insightful guy that opened my eyes to what guys really think. To be honest, guys are very strategic if you ask me. Men plot and ploy to get certain things. Yes, some men aren't as clever at achieving such feats but they are cunning. Most guys plans aren't as cynical or vindictive but they plan to do certain things they find important. They might try to use the sweet approach: when every thing they say makes you melt. The bad-ass approach, because lets face it girls love a bad boy. The "unavailable" approach: things are that much irresistible when you know you can't have them. My personally favorite, the "slightly screwed up" approach.
I know it sounds dumb, but in all actuality do we play these games hoping or knowing we'll get the desired end product?

Advice: Your one friend that think they "Knows-it-all"

Now, we all have that friend whose favorite line is "if I were you...". Come on, get real you are not me so you do not have that option. Like dude there is no way you are giving me advice and you never even been in my situation. Doesn't add up you know? 
I don't believe in giving advice on a subject I know nothing about. It's like going to a foot surgeon for laser eye surgery (doesn't that sound crazy). I don't care how many re-runs of Dr. Phil, CSI, Law and Order or Oprah you watch, you never know how to deal with a situation until it's you. My Journalism/English 11 teacher always said write what you know. I'm guessing the same goes for advice.
However, I have a know-it-all friend, my gosh she thought she knew it all then some. Every time anyone had problem little miss problem-solver would work her unneeded magic. "Well, if I were you I'd leave the bastard," said the meddling friend that has never been with a man her whole life. "he's not a man he's a fucking 'pansy'." says the lesbian friend.
Yeah, because you are such an expert (please). She prides herself on how "smart" and "well-rounded" she is. To be honest, she is something shy of a dumb blonde. For me, I feel it is impossible to give advice if you have never experienced it (the situation) first-hand. 

Girls: An account of emotions and love

I don't think guys understand how fragile women are. I don't care how much you say you're not you are. Girls are very emotions and act a lot on emotions. That why we are called "wo-men" theoretically the prefix "wo" in Hebrew is from. So, basically we come from man (of course) but, also "wo" can mean pain and grief. Hence, we are prone to emotional outburst and emotional toil. 
I, however, are one of those contenders. I think of myself as one of the guys 80% of the time. I am the type that doesn't like talking about my emotions and feelings. Maybe I was scared of my feelings and didn't know how to act or react. I was never the type to spill my emotions to the world mostly because of an ex boyfriend I was involved with.
He was weird to be honest. He basically forced me into having sex with him and to be honest always made every problem we had my fault. Long story short, he fucked me over. I feel like because he did that to me, played with my emotions I have my guard up all the time; no matter whom it is. 
Because of him, I think it is ruining my current relationship. I feel because he hurt me, my boyfriend pays for his screw ups. Most, (not all) girls feel that way they feel one guy screwed the rest will. That way of thinking isn't completely wrong. Yes, you were hurt before and you are trying you damnest (yes, I just made that up :P) for it not to happen again but, every guy isn't like that one guy that fucked you over. If that were the case we'd all be miserable and always on our guard. Frankly, it's not far to do that to an amazing guy you think you might have something great with. 
So, ladies I know its hard and I know let love in after you've been through hell and back is easier said than done but think about it, why would you chase away your soul mate because a foolish boy (that's what he is for letting an amazing woman as yourself get away) hurt you.

Twitter and relationships

This is a very relate-able topic and everyone seems to have mixed emotions about. Some people say "twitter ruins relationships" and then I laugh in their faces. Twitter can't make you do anything, your stupidity and not thinking causing problems.
Maybe the existence of twitter amps problems in relationships. In my case, I'm in a relationship and my better half follows me on Twitter (cool, right?). I'm a different person on Twitter because most of the time I tweet how I feel and things I see that are out of the ordinary. So, sometimes I tweet random things about him (like how I love him so much and gloat to the world how amazing he is). Sometimes I get frustrated and (guilty as charger) I tweet about him like how frustrating he is or how we argue like a married couple. So, I say things like that and of course he reads it and it's like World War 3 on my phone (we mostly talk on the phone and text).
I am clearly aware that some of the things I tweet might sound vulgar and some times inconsiderate but, I'm taking accountability for my tweets. Twitter is like reality, you can't take back what you say so don't blame twitter for you failed relationship, blame yourself. In all actuality, twitter can't make you do anything; it's just you, your thoughts and the keyboard that can sabotage or better your relationship.

Intro into my brain

Good Evening readers! Welcome to my blog! This is basically an intro into my world and the craziness that goes with it. Expect to read about my random ideas and how I preserve the world and human nature. I will write about topics that you--the reader find interesting. So feel free to give me topics or ideas you would like me to talk about.