But any who, as you read in my first blog settling is a bad thing in more ways than one. First, you are more vulnerable to get hurt or played. Secondly, sometimes settling shows you don't have self-appreciation for yourself. Lastly, settling for less than you deserve waste your time and causes unnecessary turmoil. There are ways to avoid making the choice of settling.
For starters, make a list; I know it sounds stupid and cheesy but its better to visually see what you think you want and thinking hard about what you need. It is also a good idea to do this with a friend but if you are the type that needs silence to concentrate then go for it. Make sure that all the attributes and traits are achievable and realistic. So, don't write on your list "wants someone that can fly" we all know that is impossible. But on a more serious note don't write things like "someone that never gets angry at all"; to be honest people get angry some more frequent than others. That won't be a realistic trait because people show anger in different ways and sometimes you wouldn't even know they are anger unless they told you. Things like that are not good example of what could go on your list. Remember my list from the last blog? That is an example (maybe not a perfect one but it's a start) some of the things on my list were just preferences. On my list I had tall, I would like a man that is a minimum of 5'6 and a max of 6'4 but I won't not date a guy that's 5'5 with a great personality. I also had "prefer Caucasian men" yes I am more attracted to white men but that doesn't mean I'll never date a black man or a hispanic man. Its' good to have a preference but don't let that preference determine your entire decision.
After creating that list, stick to it. Like on my list the very first item was articulate. For me, someone that knows how to talk correcting and pronounce words in the correct tense is a must and it's rather sexy. So, if some guy off the break, calls me "shorty" or "sweethawt" (that is the phonetic way some guys pronounce "sweetheart"), I have to immediately shut down and just give you the evil eye. That is part of the reason I don't really pursued or desired a boy from around my way. Most of them are obnoxious and immature. That should be the same persona you should have, that list is supposed to help you make the right decisions. A very good one I have on my list is "smart", ladies if you cannot hold a constructive, intelligent conversation with them they aren't worth your time. But, if you're into that kinda thing when your men are dumber than a brick; go for it.
Lastly and the most important, ask God for guidance. We are only human and evidently are bound to fuck up, so why not put your trust in someone who is perfect and knows what is right for you. Prayer and trust is the key to finding your soulmate. With guidance and understanding from the holy spirit there is no telling what God could bless you with. He could take that list of yours and add things you didn't even think you needed or multiply the things you do want sevenfold.
Now, I am not the expert matchmaker in Maryland or a married counselor but I know a little something about people and relationships. I am pretty sure you follow this criteria things might start looking up. Now I am not saying you do so and get marriage in 6 weeks but you'll stop settling for less and be happier.
Intro of this blog
http://aubrey-m-thoughts.blogspot.com/2012/05/settling-why-girls-settle-and-why-it.html
